Blast from my past

Hey, why not? Here is something I wrote a year or so ago.

In the event of an attack, always keep in mind most animals are as afraid of you as you are of them. If attacked by a wild animal, instead of running away, why not stand up for yourself for once in your life! At least if the animal is small and you think you can take him. If attacked by a larger animal, like a Grizzly bear, quickly curl into a non-threatening ball. Then tumble away to freedom (this only works on hills).

Shine down floppy ones

Well... my Hannah Montana headline is causing my hit count to soar. And I don't even know who she is... the WWE wrestler Billy Ray Cirus's adopted daughter or something?

Oh well.

- Tom Tomorrow teaches us how modern satire works.

- Ichiro has a potty mouth with a winning spirit.

- Here is a hilarious Esquire piece on Ikea by Mike Sacks.

- This has made the internet rounds, but it is still pretty funny: Rejected Michael Bay script for The Dark Knight.

GENERAL:
But which one of the internets do we hack?

BRUCE:
All of them.

Hasta Manana Hannah Montana

- I'm sure you've all seen the controversial Obama New Yorker cover. I don't have much of an opinion. It is a fine concept for satire, but not executed terribly well (the situation isn't quite absurd enough considering what some people truly do believe about Obama.)

However, I like Ruben Bolling's take on the issue.

- Mr. Bolling also has a new Super-Fun-Pax Comix out.

- Although someone apparently takes issue with it.

- Speaking of fake right-wing cartoons, no one does it better than The Onion.

- Speaking of politics, if you haven't checked it out FiveThirtyEight.com is really the best site out there for polling data and analysis.

- The most awesomely absurd movie trailer I've seen in quite awhile: Outlander.

- There are so many obvious jokes here, but I'll try to abstain: Playboy to do "Girls of Olive Garden" spread.

- Real life former Olympic sports. I guess the Olympics used to take a lot of cues from American Gladiators:

Swimming obstacle race (1900): Racers had to swim through the River Seine, climb up and down a pole, then go over and under several boats.

One-hand weightlifting (1896): Similar to the modern snatch event, but athletes were only allowed to use one hand.

Tug-of-war (1900-1920): Two teams of eight try to pull a rope six feet; if neither team reaches the mark after five minutes, the team that pulls the farthest wins.

Duelling pistol (1906): Shooters fired at mannequins wearing frock coats and bull's-eyes on their chests.